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Merton and Friends Weblog
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Beneath the Mask of Holiness Excerpts © One It began with a sponge bath – a spiritual baptism of sorts. Fifty-one-year-old Thomas Merton sat uncomfortably on the side of a narrow bed at St. Joseph's Hospital in Louisville, Kentucky. He had just endured a painful back operation in late March 1966, when the raging war in Vietnam was an eyesore for the world at large. He had first spoken out in protest as early as late 1963, when he called the assassination of President Ngo Dinh Diem a “sickening affair” since he was the symbol for Catholic rulers “operating though a combination of Church power American weaponry. This was an extension of disgruntlement with church hierarchy, one boiling over the years through personal experiences of disillusionment and anger. Disgust with escalation of the war was on Merton's mind as he gazed at the blank hospital ceiling, still groggy from the medication. His thoughts were of the writings of German theologian Meister Eckhart and focused on words he might use in a sermon about the German theologian, philosopher, and mystic renowned during the Middle Ages. A few days later, on the final day of the month, a student nurse, dark-haired Margie Smith, entered the small room to check Merton's status. She was in her mid-twenties, pretty, and sweet. Later, he would describe her as “small, shy, almost defiant, with her long black hair, grey eyes, her white trench coat.” After the celebrity priest and the aspiring nurse chatted and shared jokes about the Snoopy cartoon character, the first order of business was a sponge bath and back rub to soothe Merton's aching body. With gentle touches, Margie electrified his senses as her fingers massaged a warm sponge into his nakedness. As he relaxed to enjoy the comfort, Merton could not take his eyes off of the lovely nurse's face. She returned his stares, giggling as they shared more thoughts about Snoopy.
Two Because Thomas Merton's words in The Seven Storey Mountain were heavily censored, discovering the complete truth about the man who met Margie Smith in 1966 must be approached from all directions, using every source available. This includes the primary source: the seven volumes of private journals released in the mid-1990s. Editor Patrick Hart, Merton's longtime secretary, emphasized their veracity: “[Merton] was expressing what was deepest in his heart with no thought of censorship . . . with their publication we will have as complete a picture of Thomas Merton as we can hope to have.” Until now. Brother Hart's statement is appropriate based on the rich nature of the journals, but it is only partially accurate. A complete, authentic Merton portrayal is possible only by connecting Merton's side of the story as presented in The Seven Storey Mountain and undisclosed information about his pre-monastic past absent from the autobiography with the journal entries and other background material collected from biographies and certain books Merton wrote prior to, and during the Margie affair. Once this connection is made, it is clear why the romance, unveiling a struggling, tormented Merton seeking love, is so critical to understanding all that Merton wrote and all that has been written about him, especially regarding the subjects of love and freedom.
Three Was it possible that Thomas Merton, the priest, the man dedicated to “God alone,” would scamper away from Gethsemani into the night and marry Margie Smith during the spring of 1966. Certainly the man of many contradictions strongly considered doing so. As the month of May had appeared with warm temperatures and the sign and smell of colorful flowers at every turn, Merton was perplexed. One can only image in the crosscurrents blazing through is mind with recurring thoughts of yesteryear and lost opportunities with women caused by mistakes he had never forgiven himself for. Now he had another chance, a change to truly love for the first time in his life. What an unexpected blessings. Perhaps he saw it as divine intervention. Attempting to be realistic during a time of unparalleled bliss, Merton pondered the future. The day after the May 9 picnic, he decided Margie's living in Louisville in August after graduation, purchasing a car, and driving out to see him once a week, was unworkable. This was due to limitations on his free time and his resistance to asking her to lead that type of life instead of marrying. But she told him she refused to marry another. Still puzzled by the fresh love affair, Merton considered whether the couple should live together like they were married. But, he recognized while milling about the hermitage as if in a daze, “the problems are appalling. Excommunications fuga cum mulliere [flight with a woman] and the hounds after me perpetually, from Dom James to the Roman Curial!”
Four Alive with the spark of love inside him, Thomas Merton turned to poetry to express his feelings. One titled “I Always Obey My Nurse,” would later be published in Eighteen Poems . All the while, Merton was baring his soul, trusting the one he loved with secrets never revealed to anyone else, permitting an honest assessment of his perception of Margie's love for him. Although he felt she idolized him, he was pleased to make his true self known to her, and thankful she loved him despite personal characteristics of his he believed to be humiliating and impossible. As he gazed up at one of the tall pine trees near the hermitage, he was certain that he loved her the same way she loved him and that God approved. As a thunderstorm pounded in the distance, and a scared deer stood right in front of the hermitage porch, staring at him, he looked toward the heavens, and said, “I can only regard this as kind of a miracle in my life. Later, he called the affair beautiful, writing, “when we kiss each other our lips say everything – without any effort or any of the smokey wisdom of passion.”
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